Rescued!

Photo taken by my daughter, age 12

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

Colossians 1:13-15

“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come to his people and redeemed them."

Luke 1:68

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

2 Corinthians 5:17

My faith walk has been been filled with joys and trials, and I have often faltered along the way. During my teens, when I had recently discovered Christ, I knew I needed Him, but I didn’t understand Him. I remember that I struggled to walk away from doing things that were blatant sin, and instead, negotiated my repentance with Him. I remember rationalizing my sin in my prayers, explaining to Him why I couldn’t stop committing one sin or another. Later, as a young adult, I think I began to believe I was walking with Him, because I wasn’t doing anything that some other Christians weren’t doing, so I figured I was being faithful. But, then one day, I remember falling on my face as I realized just what was wrong with my belief system.

I was reading my bible, and I remember reading something that changed me forever.  I can’t even remember the verse, but I remember what I learned that day.

The old has passed away…

Before I share, what I learned, I want to share why I needed to be changed. My heart had a painful history, but still a loving Father beckoned to me in so many ways!

An amazing grandfather took me to church when I was eleven, but died in my arms, in my kitchen floor, when I was thirteen. Faithful believers continued pouring their energy into a messy, rebellious teen, for four more years, after I gave my life to Christ, at youth camp in July 1987.  However, I was me-centered, and didn’t even realize that I refused to accept the things they tried to teach me.

By 2000, I had gone through a painful divorce, and my sweet friends, at a new church, helped me through this difficult time. Subsequently, I became involved with another man and then went through an earth-shaking unplanned pregnancy. My friends at church were there for me again. However, my life felt broken, and now, I’d been abandoned by this man who had used a lie to manipulate me. I had walked headlong into many situations trying to ease my pain but seeking comfort in the world, rather than the promises of a loving Father. I felt unworthy to be around Christians any longer, but desperately needed to cling to whatever shred of faith I still had, or I feared that my children would have no hope, as they were being raised by someone who loved them, but had no idea how to be the mother they needed. I remarried, my sweet husband, and then struggled to find a church because I felt so burdened by my past mistakes. Sadly, somewhere along the way, I was told that the Bible contained errors, and therefore, was encouraged to overlook some verses, that simply don’t apply to Christians, today.

The new has come…

But then, during my pregnancy with my little girl, I was reading the Bible, and realized that something was terribly wrong. This is the day that my walk was forever changed.

I realized that if some verses were erroneous, how could I trust John 14:6?

“I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father, except through me?”

John 14:6

I remember scanning through the Bible, reading verse after verse, and being confronted with my own broken heart. Every person who had ever known me, knew a liar. I professed to love Him and said they should, too, but I wasn’t trusting Him myself.

I realized that I needed to trust every verse in His precious book, or trust none of them.  There is simply nothing in between.

After that day, I began walking quite differently. I began loving people more and I let go of many bitter grudges that were rotting me from the inside out. I realized that I could not expect from anyone what I am not willing to do first.

In Christ, we are a new creation…

I still struggle daily with this feeling of inequality with other believers. I have spent so many tears weeping over my mistakes. I grieve over my poor faith walk, which has likely led many away from a mercy-filled, grace bestowing, Father, who wants me to point people TO Him. Despite feeling forgiven by Him, I have not been able to forgive myself for having been such a pitiful light for people who needed to see Him.

Recently, however, I read Isaiah 38:17, and my hungry heart stopped. I read the words, and reread them.

“Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.”

Isaiah 38:17

What I read in this verse spoke to me, and has spoken to me daily since.  I already realized that He does allow us all to suffer, and I’ve never expected not to struggle. I knew that through our suffering, we sometimes glean valuable lessons. However, the final phrase literally leaped from the page. “…you have put all my sins behind your back.”

I read it over and over. He who is the Alpha and Omega, with no beginning and no end. He who spoke the world, and everything in it, into existence. He who sent His own, precious, Son, for me, did not cast my sin behind MY back.

No. For there, it would have lurked behind me and kept me prisoner.

He cast it behind HIS back. And if He is who I know Him to be, then why do I keep re-trying myself for every crime I’ve ever committed?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not the person I hope to one day be. I never will be; not until He returns and perfects us all. But, this verse is extremely refreshing to a thirsty heart. He doesn’t want me to continue holding my past crimes behind me. He wants to forgive me and move forward, a justified sinner, saved by Grace, and obedient to His whispers in my heart.

I cannot tell you how freeing this was for me to read. My heart breaks when I see people hurting one another, and I keep feeling a burden to share what this verse means to me, in case maybe they are acting to protect their own inner-brokenness, too. Yet, I have not shared it, out of fear.

Fear of condemnation by those who have not erred as much as I have. Fear of mistakes that are yet to come.

Our Father doesn’t want us to live in fear. He doesn’t want us to remain a prisoner of the evil one. I am so thankful for this, and I hope my long story might resonate with someone else.  Thank you for taking the time to read.

By grace alone, Ashley

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

1 John 14:18

Why choose this?

This morning, I noticed a notification on my phone.  A friend of one of my children had posted a video of himself.  In the video, he used really hard words for a mom's heart to hear.  I adore this young man, and I have prayed for him so many times.  Yet, his language shows evidence that we tend to lean toward doing what we should not.  Why is it that we allow ourselves to ensnared by the whisper of evil, even from very young ages?

In scripture we see that Satan has been planting seeds of doubt in our mind from the earliest written record of mankind.

“For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  Genesis 3:5

Why, when parents set out to raise children to do what is right, do we rebel against our teaching and become bent towards evil?

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.  Proverbs 16:9

We are promised peace and prosperity, in return for choosing righteousness.

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.  Proverbs 3:1-2

Yet, usually without even realizing it, we are making our own plans and leaving Him out.  I know that when I have done things I should not have done, it didn't start out that way.  In the beginning, I was seeking to do something that seemed good to me, but I was probably looking away from God, rather than toward Him.

There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.  Proverbs 14:12

I want to choose what is right, and want to focus on Him, because, it is evident throughout scripture that we have lost our focus on Him, and we choose to do what is evil.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

I love Proverbs, because this book reminds me that I am not to be trusted to rely on what I think, and will fare much better if I look to His ways.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

I have tried many times, and failed, when choosing my own way.  So I want to choose His way, for His plans are good.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."  Jeremiah 29:11

I am praying today, to seek His ways, and not my own.

By Grace alone, Ashley

Super excited! I'm #51 of the top 100!

I just found out that my blog is featured on this page, and I just have to share this!  Not to mention that there are 99 other AWESOME bloggers featured on the page!

Check out this post, and be sure to find Grace upon Grace at #51.  Wow!!

http://healthymomsmagazine.net/2016/09/top-100-homeschooling-blogs.html

I am humbled, as I have not kept this up the way I wanted to, but I am so excited to have been featured in her top 100 articles!

Maybe I'm not alone in missing those blissful, crazy, snuggly, busy moments of childhood!  If only!

If only...

I truly cannot believe how quickly the years have flown.  I cannot sleep tonight.  My step-kids have grown, and gone.  My son was just married, two weeks ago!  My other son will be driving soon.  My daughter is nearly as tall as me.  They all know more than me (or at least to them, they do)!!

I lay in bed longing for just one more story time with my kids around me, all sweet smelling after their baths.  I long for the days when bubbles on the lawn was fun for them.  I miss those sweaty, little hands as I raced to see every animal at the zoo, and they pulled me along!

I love the beautiful people they have grown into.  I am thankful daily that He has blessed me with them.  I know so many say I am supposed to enjoy this more, and I am sure I will.  However, I had no idea it could ever have gone so fast!

If only it was granted in my power,

I’d turn back time, maybe just one hour.

But then, I’d be tempted for a week, or maybe two,

To grab a little more time to spend with you.

I remember when you were first a flutter, then a kick.

I waited impatiently, for each gentle movement, as the clock did tick.

And when the doctor held you up before my eyes,

My heart melted at the sound of your tiny cries.

Each day I was there and watched you grow,

Kissing every bump and scraped elbow.

I guess I really never thought about it then,

How fleeting those moments with you had been.

But time is a thief and it marches on,

Childhood vanished and the teen did dawn.

Sometimes those days were tough, we didn’t always agree.

I yearned to hold on, you pulled to be free.

And secretly, I reminded Him night and day,

Lest He forget how special you are, so I did pray,

Whispered thanks for giving you to me, that He might know,

And continue his protection, never to let you go.

Now I think back on your sweet little face,

Your soft, head of hair, a fun game of chase.

A romp on the lawn, a splash in the pool.

Wishing time didn’t feel so cruel.

The sweet way you spoke, in your gravelly voice,

The way you would stomp to get your choice.

That wonderful time each night all snuggled in bed,

Reading stories and laughing, I hung by a thread.

I knew this day would not come easy for me.

I tried not to blink, I didn’t want to be free.

I celebrate every moment we’ve had,

But oh, I can’t help but feel a little sad.

And yet, I feel happy, but it’s harder than I thought.

I’m proud of you, and thankful for all the joy you’ve brought.

So don’t think me too silly, for all the whimsy and such,

And the things I can’t part with, I don’t mean to keep too much.

I know those old projects, aging paint, cracking glue.

To you the space is needed, and long overdue.

But each of those things in your box has weathered the miles,

Each picture, so precious, awakens memories, my heart smiles.

Today, you read this, you may not understand,

I relinquish the time when you once held my hand.

My prayer that the hard times, haven’t been too hard,

I longed for childhood joys, not with sadness marred.

I love you so much, and though the time did fly,

No greater joy, through my errors, I still did try.

If only I showed you His love and instilled in you, the proof,

That He is the Way, the Life, and the Truth.

The kindness of a stranger

In light of my previous post I published earlier this evening, I've been thinking and praying about all the kind deeds I've been a part of, or even the recipient of.  I think I've probably seen far more kindness in the world than ugliness, though sometimes the ugliness hurts so much we tend to focus on it.  However, I think in light of the following verse, I want to end my evening focusing on the kindness of others.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."  Philippians 4:7-9 NIV

I have been a part of so many amazing acts of love.  I've had a friend call me up and ask if I knew anyone who might need some help at Thanksgiving.  She drove me to the store and picked up all the items a family would need to make a nice dinner, and then took me to each person's home and had me deliver it.  She didn't want any of them to know where it had come from and asked that they only thank God for the kindness received.

 

I've watched a young lady at a nearby high school continue a friendship well after her graduation to my friend's son, who has a disability.  Even after her own graduation, she still comes to pick him up and take him to church.

 

I've watched members of my church sit at the hospital with me when my son had a horrific car accident 6 years ago.  They sat with my family for hours, just to be with us when we weren't in the room with him, and to pray for our family.  They stayed well into the night until he came out of surgery and seemed to be safe.

 

I want to share a very specific story about an absolute stranger, who I had never met before, and have never seen since.  I wish I had gotten his name, I have often prayed for him, because his unselfishness impacted me so much.  He was a bit older than me; I was in high school.  It was probably about spring of 1991, as I was getting close to graduation.  A few months before, I had been driving my first car, when another boy jumped into my lane and hit me head on.  My car was totaled.  My mom didn't have the car at a time, so I had been helping her get to work and then going to my after-school job.  Because of this, I had to replace my car quickly and ended up buying a car I did not like at all, a lemon-yellow, 1978 Ford Fairmont!  It came complete with a charred dash and a sagging headliner.  The only plus side of this car was that it was big enough I could fit almost my entire youth group in the car to go out to dinner after church!  However, one day when I got in the car, I reversed from my grandmother's driveway, where I lived, on Booth Calloway Road, and suddenly I knew I was in trouble!

 

My grandmother lived on a busy road and it was about the time everyone was heading home from work.  I put the car in reverse and backed into the road, then shifted into drive, but the car wouldn't move forward.  It arced to the right and to the left, but would not go forward.  I tried to reverse into the field on the other side of the road, and nothing still.  I had no idea that the rack and pinion had cracked (or broken) at that time.  I was getting into a panic quite quickly because it did not take long for a huge line of cars to pile up on either side of me - unable to pass because of my enormously long car blocking the road, and a fence that ran to the road just behind my bumper.  I kept trying - but I kept getting the same result.  People began shouting and honking.  After what seemed like an eternity, a man jumped from his car from way back in the line of cars.  He told a few people to calm down, it was easy to see I needed help.  He ran to my vehicle, took a quick look and listened to what I said was going on, then told me to do JUST as he said.  He was not a very big man, and he wasn't dressed very fancy, just a simple t-shirt and Wrangler type jeans.  But I couldn't believe what he had to do.  He literally wrapped his body around my front tire and rotated it back the right direction.  He would instruct me to gently press the gas pedal until he told me to stop.  We repeated this process, until finally, we were able to guide the car into the field across the street from my house.  He told me it was the best he could do for now, but he knew I was safely out of the road.  Then he hurried back to get his own car out of the road before the impatient line of vehicles began roaring past me, impatient at the delay.  I have often thought of this guy, wondering if he had a wife, maybe children, and yet for a complete stranger, he trusted me to listen to him in order to help me get out of danger.  I have shuddered at the thought fact that if I'd not listened carefully, I could have really hurt him.  But he never seemed concerned; he just smiled and said he was glad I was safe, and went on his way!

 

I just thought I'd share a story that shows the kindness of strangers.  Despite some of the not-so-pleasant events in our life, people like him and so many others make a much greater impact.  I often have wished that I could have told him what his kind deed meant to me, how in a way it shaped me to know that I wanted to be able to show others kindness.  How I wish I'd known when he departed that I'd pray for him and whoever his family is, so I could have told him that if he ever felt he was prayed for, maybe it was me, still praying for his safety.

 

I thank you Lord, for the compassion you have shown us, and for those in this world that continue to show compassion in a world that can sometimes seem cruel and heartless.

"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Colossians 3:14 NIV 

Some things are hard to accept!

Sometimes, I find it so difficult to accept the way things are.  I know this world is a tough cruel place, and I'm thankful for the love and mercy I've been freely given by my loving Father, and I'm thankful for the kindness of many people in this world.  However, sometimes things happen that just shock me.  I know that not everyone is kind in this world, but generally, I've come to believe that usually the overall majority of people have some grace and kindness in them.

However, on not one, but two occasions, I've taken embarrassing falls, in front of many people, and not even been asked if I was ok, save one person, despite the fact that on both occasions, there were many people who saw the incidents.  The first, was a long time ago, and the second was just about an hour ago, and neither is easy for me to accept.

First, about 11 years ago, when I was just far enough along in my pregnancy to be very clearly pregnant, I was walking into the Brookshire's grocery store, in Midlothian.  They had this reddish, strip of grooved concrete painted along their entrance concrete, it basically divided the parking lot from the porch area, and had a very slight slope.  I'd walked in many times.  However, on this particular evening, as I entered the store in front of no fewer than 10-20 patrons, and a few carry-out personnel, when I stepped onto that area my foot just slid forward, straight up in front of me, and I landed HARD on my back.  I lay there a moment or two, completely winded, praying I'd not injured my baby.  As I did, I watched people pass by me and look at me as they entered or exited the store, including a few employees.  Not ONE person asked if I was ok, or extended a hand to help me up.  I went into the store, and explained to management what had happened.  I told them I could not expect the patrons to do the right thing, but I would have expected an employee to ask me if I was ok.  They simply apologized, no more, no less.  I still sometimes think that had to be an isolated incident, but I was completely surprised that not one person checked on me as they watched me fall and land on my back.  Honestly, if you'd asked me if that could happen again, I would have said it would not have.  I would have assumed that I must have just entered at a particularly busy time as people were getting off work, and it was a one time event.

Now, fast forward about 11 years.  This evening, as I entered the gas station at Exxon Tiger Mart, in Venus, with a $20 bill in my hand to pay for a little gas, I noticed a lady coming up right behind me.  I looked back and held the door for her since she was so close, and I would have been rude just letting it go in her face.  She thanked me and I turned and headed into the store, realizing too late that I'd stepped onto a bunched up entry way rug.  My foot couldn't break free and I fell forward, HARD.  My face almost hit the floor, and I barely caught myself in time, hurting my leg and arm.  As I tried to push up off the floor, I looked up and just in front of me was a man heading from one end of the store to the grocery area.  He just looked down at me, barely 2 feet from me, and walked on by.  Many other patrons glanced over, but said nothing.  The lady behind me, who I noticed almost tripped onto me as I stepped in, is the ONLY person who asked if I was ok.  I was mortified at being looked at so disdainfully by everyone in the store.  I was embarrassed at falling.  I turned over and pushed myself up, and said that I thought I was.  She and I straightened the rug.  I felt like leaving the store and getting my gas elsewhere, but my foot & leg hurt too bad to feel like leaving, going elsewhere and walking in another store, so I just limped to the register, requested $20 worth of gas, and stood looking at the lady as she asked if I would like a receipt.  Then, I turned and limped back out of the store, terribly embarrassed.

I wish I could think that this was isolated, but it has now happened to me on two, out of two, public falls I've taken.  So many times, no doubt, I do see kindness offered to me, and to others, however, how is it possible with a group of 10 or more people on two separate occasions, that only one person even had the kindness to ask if I was ok?  And that was the one who I'd nearly tripped as I fell, so she must have felt a little bit like I did.  I do not like posting negative things, I love to show how blessed I almost always feel to others, but I am truly surprised by this.  It seems crazy to me that not one person offered me a hand to help me get off the ground.  Still yet, it seems even more shocking that people would not have said, "Are you all right?"

I know this world has changed, but I thought that generally most still have some compassion for others.  It brings me a bit of sadness to think of people who may have not had the ability to get themselves up, and may have had to stay in the floor and ask for help.  What if this was someone with health issues, or someone who had been injured more seriously in the fall, or someone much older and having trouble with balance?  Would they have had to have asked for help?  Would they have lay there embarrassed as people walked on by until they spoke up to let someone know they needed assistance?  I'm so sad to think of how that would make someone feel.

I thank God that He is compassionate.  "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love."  Psalm 103:8

I pray to see a little more compassion in this world.  "Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.  Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice."  Psalm 112:4-5

My homeschool planner

My goodness, I sure meant to post to my blog more often!  Things have been so busy lately!  I'm getting ready to start high school this year with my 5th child, who begins 9th grade!  I can't believe I've got a high school- aged child again!  I'm also getting ready to begin MFW Exploring Countries & Cultures with my sweet daughter, who begins 5th grade.  I'm loving every minute of these two and can't believe they are getting so much older so fast!

I've got my little home, child care going again...the past two years I've been teaching a friend's child along with mine, but we had agreed to do it for 2 years.  Now, I've begun keeping some of my friend's children after school, and my nieces sweet babies, but summer is so busy with the kids that are out of school coming all day!

I've been asked quite a few times what planner I use to keep organized.  I've seen many, and it seems like I've tried most!  However, the handwritten planners just got tiring...and I didn't want an entirely online planner either.  As a result, I created my own in Excel. 

This has worked for me for several reasons:

1.) When the kids are doing the same lesson, I can copy & paste what I already typed...I can't do that in a handwritten planner.
2.) I can print this out, and hang it on the bulletin board.  It's neat & easy to read, and the kids can check off what they've completed.  If I see them NOT working, I just walk up to the board and take a look at their planner...usually, if they are not done, they are scrambling to grab their next lesson, when they see me checking their planner, and I don't have to say a word!
3.) I have a quick, easily accessible record to look back over their year whenever I need to.  I just copy & paste the sheet below the recently completed week, and then at the end of the year, I have their personal record if I want to see when they completed something.

When I first began doing this, it took me a little while to create each week, but after a while, I was able to complete these in minutes!  It has helped them work so much more efficiently, because they like to see what they need to accomplish and work ahead when time permits. 

I have created a sample of the planner, about 3 weeks worth, in case anyone wants to use this format.  It is easily edited to make it personal for your children.  Here is my planner.  You are welcome to use it and edit to suit the needs of your family.

http://teamvenus.webs.com/apps/documents/documents

The Love of a Child

So today just started out slow and I was just dragging myself through my routine.  I've been fighting off a bit of moodiness that just seems to hit me sometimes.  I always try to roll with life's punches, but sometimes I let them knock me down, or at least knock me off balance!  I don't like to feel this way, and I definitely don't like to share it, but the way my day ended was truly worth sharing.  Sometimes God gives us little answers to prayers in the most unexpected places....and sometimes he puts a little blue icing on those answers!

I know I don't post often, but this was just really a moment I wanted to remember.  I was invited to a birthday party of a sweet, little girl I used to watch in my home.  I also kept her precious, little cousin.  They invited me over this evening for a last minute birthday party, but I already had plans.  Still, they invited me to drop by whenever I could - and my kids and I have really missed them so I told myself I would do my best to get done in time and just pop in for a minute.

I felt like it was too late, but all their cars were still there, so I knocked on my friend's door (who is the children's grandmother, and a very dear friend of mine).  When that door opened, it was just one of those moments that I needed.  Their family just welcomes me like I am family.  Everyone jokes around and is relaxed and I always feel almost like I am just another one of them.  Then those two sweeties walked up to me and wrapped me up in their tiny hugs.  The little girl just grabbed me and told me she missed me and I fought back tears.  She gave me a kiss on my cheek, complete with a little blue icing on her lips!  Then the little boy walks up and grabs my cheeks and says, "I love you, I miss you."  I have to tell you, I was so moved, I might as well have been putty - it was a good thing I was sitting down because my heart was so mushy, I'm afraid my legs might have been too!

There is nothing in the world that I deserve less than the pure, sweet, honest love of a child; and yet, despite everything in this world that goes wrong, when my own children or some of the children I have cared for tell me something from their heart, I am reminded of the beauty of God's creation.

 

"And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good."  Genesis 1:31a

It makes me think of my Father's love for us.  I don't deserve the affection of a child, who does not ever lie about his or her feelings, 4 or 5 year old children are beautifully honest.  I don't deserve the amazing grace that our Father has poured out on me.  Yet, despite all the ugliness that there is in this world, and the trials and obstacles we encounter, He still loves me.  I can't do anything good enough to deserve it either. 

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."  I John 4:7-10

I just wanted to share this because I sometimes get down.  I often lose focus.  But on this evening, I could not stop thinking of the words of James.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."  Of His own will, He brought us forth by the word of truth that we should be a kind of first fruits among his creatures."  James 1:17-18

As my son and I left their house, it dawned on me, that entire family is God's gift to me.  They have always been kind and loving toward me.  They have trusted me with some of the most precious people in their lives.  And, those children, are God's gift to me.  Their cute smiles and their tender hearts remind me of God's tender love for us. 

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called the children of God; and so we are."  I John 3:1

Kenny is graduating!

Drake University - Knapp Center on May 18, 2014
2601 Forest Avenue, Des Moines, IA  50311

Doors open @ 8:30 a.m.

Congratulations - We love you Kenny!

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=2Aat2bVu3cs3zA

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Home schooling highs...home schooling lows

 ^"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:33-34

Sometimes I feel like I have a handle on things.  Life seems to whirl by so quickly that it seems difficult to keep up, but it is easier with a carefully followed schedule.  But then there are those times when it feels like I just come un-raveled.  I just went through one of those pits and I think it was one of the most difficult I've been through as far as my home school goes.

 

I think it all began with my schedule slipping out of control a bit.  I enrolled a new child in my home child care, lost another child due to his parent's job loss, then got another child back whose mom had been off due to an injury, and my son & his wife both started working so I have my precious granddaughter more.  With new children came new parent's drop-off and pick-up times.  This should be minor - and truly it is - but sometimes tiny adjustments to my routine seem to throw me off my rhythm till I start slipping out of my regular schedule.

 

The next thing I knew we were getting a little later eating breakfast, a little later beginning school work, and obviously we were a little later finishing.  Funny thing about starting a few minutes later is that it seems to cause your finish time to be even later.  For instance, if I start 15-30 minutes later, it seems like we don't actually get finished till almost an hour later than usual!

 

Once the schedule slipped a little - there went my nerves!  I was so irritable.  I felt harried and rushed and my children could tell.  I was feeling frustrated with everything.  I started wondering if they were grasping English lessons well enough, and were they really learning their spelling words, and was the math curriculum really up to par?  It feels like once you let your mind run away with anxiety it can really start sabotaging your thoughts until doubt sets in.  Once I started doubting I truly began to worry that I could not teach my children all they needed and I felt like crying at the thought of failing them.  My thoughts would flit between my reasons for home schooling and my reasons I prefer not to put them back in school.

 

At that point - I just pulled back completely.  I really put it to God in prayer and then I let it go.  We took a week off of some of the extras and just took the time to really dig into some lessons that I felt they needed a tutorial week on, and just focused on core subjects for a few days.  By Grace alone - it worked.  God is SO good.

 

In the extra time I had allowed myself, I studied my bible more.  I re-read some stories about women in the bible I had not taken much time to read about lately.  I am so glad that He made sure those stories are there for us.  I glean so much from amazing stories like Joseph, Moses, Noah, David, and so many more.  But I am also so thankful to learn about Abigail, Lydia, Deborah, Mary, Martha, and Priscilla.  

 

I also took the time to re-read my teacher's manuals on areas my children may have struggled to grasp concepts so that I could make sure to pick up on something that may help me explain it to them better.  I re-read parts of the introductory section of my core manual to get tips from the author of my curriculum on teaching the subjects I was most concerned about for each child.  (They each have one area that seems to be more difficult, and of course they are not at all alike!)  By the end of the week I began to feel better.  I also gave the house a thorough cleaning - which always lifts my spirits!

 

I just thought I'd post this because sometimes - I feel like I get into a place that feels like it will not end.  This feeling of doubt has been working it's way into me for quite a while.  But today - our home school was back on track and I felt so much peace as we closed our day - on schedule!!  I am so thankful that God is so good and when I get into a low place, he brings me through it so faithfully.

 

"The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." I Thessalonians 5:24

 

"Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old, they will not turn from it."  Proverbs 22:6

How blessed we are when we least expect it!

I wasn't sure how to feel about this weekend earlier this week.  My daughter was invited to spend the weekend with her Mamaw, which she was excited and eager about.  My son was playing paintball with his dad, which they love.  I miss my children so much when they leave overnight; they rarely do this.  So it was strange to have them all gone for the day & my daughter gone for 2 nights. 

Today, however, I knew it was just my precious granddaughter and me with the house all to ourself.  I told my my husband last night that I wanted the weather to be nice so I could spend some time outdoors with her - she loves that so much.  When I woke this morning the sun was shining and it was cool, but still nice enough to be outside.  I was thrilled!

We spent the cooler part of the morning playing indoors - but I kept checking for it to be warm enough for her.  Then our adventure began!

Several days ago I noticed that some bulbs I planted in the fall were beginning to pop out of the ground.  I was eager to get the weeds and grass cleared so they could bloom!  Until they began peeking out a few days ago - I had not even known what I had planted.  My husband had brought a bag of bulbs home from a friend who had dug them up and wasn't planning to replant them.  I planted them last fall and waited.  Today, I hoped to get this weeding done while my sweet little explorer enjoyed the fresh air.  That led us to our first mission.

First, I had to fashion a gate to keep her on my porch.  She and I searched my hubby's shop & yard for just the perfect thing....we found the base to an old hollow, metal tube twin bed frame (the part that supports the mattress).  I had been using it to secure a raincover and wind barrier for the winter over the side of the cage my rabbit sleeps in.  Then in my hubby's shop I found a rope with a clip that would help secure it.  Now I could keep her on the porch so she could stay near me to play.

Next, as she played, I began unearthing God's little treasures he sent my way this week!  I was thrilled as I gently pulled weeds and grass to find so many soft tendrils and beautiful, little, purple clusters just pushing up from our hard Texas dirt.  I'd already checked with my neighbor and she said they are grape hyacinth!  I have never even seen a hyacinth growing, that I am aware of, so I had to proceed cautiously until I figured out what the leafy part of the plant looked like before it blossomed so I wouldn't pull the plants up.  It didn't take long to tell their long, tender, strands of green that I often found the flower just popping up from the center.  I am so excited - they are just beautiful.  And as I dug up weeds I kept finding more and more of these gorgeous, rich, purple clusters.

I wish my cell phone camera would do them justice - they are exquisite!

I had another wonderful treat as I turned to check on my li'l explorer I realized she was intently watching something sunning on the ground just outside her "gate".  I scooped up this frigid, little creature who was trying to warm himself and let her see - she was thrilled to watch him as he moved in my hand.  He had to make a narrow escape to my wandering Jew plant, where I placed him in the sun on one of the broad leaves, as she was ready to snatch him for playtime!

I also found a squiggly earth worm, which made her laugh.  I couldn't get a picture of this - but if only I could playback her amazing little giggle everytime I feel blue - I believe I could never feel sad again!!  Each sweet laugh reminds me of those precious moments when my own children were her age; those moments are far too fleeting!

After I'd rid one bed of most of the weeds, she was getting tired.  I brought her inside for lunch and a nap.  She was so funny watching her eat!  She was so tired, she would open her eyes, grab a piece of food, close her eyes to chew it, and then repeat the whole process again!  After a diaper change and a little snuggle time, she didn't offer even one protest at being laid down for her nap.

So sleepy!!

Oh if only, the sweetness of days like today could remain fresh in our memories everyday!  I just had to stop and thank our amazing Father for all the blessings he has rained into my life!

What kids will do!

The image above is my daughter's bed!  She has her bean bag on it, several stuffed animals, and her frog stuffed chair...but the interesting thing, of course, is the canopy which has collapsed onto everything.  She came to my room at about 10:35 p.m. last night to get me out of bed and said in a very meek, quiet voice, "Mommy, I need you to come here."

When I got to her room, I was surprised and immediately said, "How did this happen?"

The first words she  said as she innocently began her story, "Well, I was just sitting there...."!

Somehow, 'just sitting there' really doesn't fit this picture!!!

Mike & I could barely stifle laughter as we disassembled the fallen poles completely & removed the canopy promising to repair it tomorrow.  When we got back to our room, we really had a good laugh.

It is so funny when things like this happen!  It makes it so hard to be firm and keep a straight face while we tell her if she'd been in bed asleep as she was told this would not have happened.  Just thought I'd share!  Have a great day, ashley

Unstained religion?

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:27 NIV

I had a friend ask recently, "what is religion; how does it differ from belief and faith?"  I think I told her this was probably a question that many wrestle with and told her my best answer was that religion is something like an ordered practice.  One can be religious about many things; the way he or she does his or her job, cleans his or her home, takes care of others, works for a cause, or, of course, practices their faith.  It really does not necessarily have to have anything to do with God.  Therefore, does this 'religion' save you?  My easy answer was, "no!"

 

Belief is more than that.  True belief in God is more than religion.  Following and serving begin in the heart.  This will come out so much more as I begin week four of my James study.  I wish I had been posting every Friday as I finished each week's homework - but this study has been monumental and I want to share some of the beauty I have found in what Jesus' little brother penned!  In following up with my friend's question - I thought it fitting that I write James' definition of religion - because his is so much better than what I could come up with! 

 

The ESV (English Standard Version) says it like this: "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."  James 1:27

 

Unstained?  This is hard; take care of others when it is sometimes hard to take care of ourselves, love the unloveable, help those who need it, get down in the mud so to speak?  In other words, why speak of our love for Christ if it doesn't compel us to get out of our pretty places, roll up our sleeves, and WORK?  But wait - don't get dirty!  What! I live in a tiny house and I have 6 children (some still at home and the others come to visit now), I babysit toddlers and an after-schooler, and I have a granddaughter.  I have never been able to clean this little place without getting dirty - even a light tidy will cause me to break a sweat!  So that causes me to pull back the reins and say, "whoa, how can I work without getting dirty?"

 

James gives us the answer - but the answer is so familiar, I think I missed it until now.  Love your neighbor (let's be honest, I'm asking him, "do you really mean all of them")?  Seriously?  I already know this stuff James....I quote them easily!  Between loving God, and serving Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself; I have said those things so much I figured I had them down pat!  I mean Jesus says they are the greatest commandments, and I say them all the time.....so I got this, right?

 

NO!  I've read those words on cute, little needlework prints you could buy out of magazines that my grandmother used to receive since before I knew a thing about God.  Long before my dear, sweet Papa introduced me to my amazing Father, I quoted those words like a mantra.  I knew, when I was 6, to be nice to my neighbor and I even knew that that meant more than the lady next door.  I knew it was anyone I came in contact with.  I could read, but to REALLY love my neighbor, I just wasn't grasping that.  You see, God is LOVE, and before I knew God, I only knew love from a worldly perspective.  I think I just thought being nice and hurting no one was enough.  And if I were to dig a little deeper and try to reach out a little beyond myself, and do something to really help someone else - well - I must have really grasped it, right?

 

I don't want to say much more because I have begun my homework for week four now - and I must say - today's study was BIG for me.  So I will close by reverting back to the thought of remaining unstained.  How can we do that?  I think James is saying we can - if we continually keep bathing everything we do in real, pure love.

 

" "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

 

Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord our your God with all your heart and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." "  Matthew 22:36-40

The book of James, a call to true faith!

This book has been absolutely monumental for me to study this closely.  How often have I skimmed carelessly over these words and not applied them in my life?  How often have I neglected to be obedient to my precious Father who wants only my love?  How often have I rejected him by my lack of concern for His will?  And how often have I caused another to stumble, or worse, by my lack of discipline, my failure to realize how important His call really is?

I have struggled with writing in this blog.  I have wanted a way to share with others - but sharing personally was never my plan!  I just wanted to find great ideas on how to save money, or find a great recipe, and maybe even make a little money with an ad while I learned to make laundry detergent at home!!  (By the way - I sure save a lot of money with just that one easy thing...evey little bit helps!)

However - getting personal online - was not my plan.  But - it's really not about me.  It never has been.  I guess I've just been so steeped in a greedy culture of people afflicted with entitlement - that I didn't even know it.  It's always been about Christ.  From the moment God shaped this earth in His hands, from the first bite of forbidden fruit, to the nervous laugh of Sarai and her long awaited son's first breath.  This entire time - I've blundered through life; making mistakes, sharing tears and joy, suffering, and growing, while I never realized that the reason I was having such a hard time is because I put too much emphasis on my needs.  His plan has never been about me.  I am a part of a precious story, the story He is writing with every breath we take.

God has blessed me so abundantly.  Through my children, I have learned to love more deeply than I ever thought possible.  They are the first of many gifts God gave me so I could learn to love unconditionally and completely.  Yet even still - this story is so much bigger.  He loves us so much - despite our disobediance.  However - I have finally reached a place of true desire for obedience.  I truly want to do whatever His plan is; though it scares me since I know that may mean something I never wanted to do.  My pastor challenged us recently to search the scriptures to find a place that God has done BIG things without personal sacrifice.  I don't know what God may be asking of me - and sometimes I feels stretched so thin that I couldn't do another thing; but I want to obtain the righteousnesss He wants us to strive for.  But what has held me back until now?  Why have I never really felt ready to do His will.  I think I have been stuck by feeling unworthy.  I know that my many mistakes have left me feeling drained and unfit for His work.  Yet, He still offers mercy - He literally rains mercy down over us. 

Lord, I want to be your child; to depend on you fully.  I am so thankful for the freedom you have offered us and the amazing love you have for us, though we do nothing to deserve it.  My prayer today is that someone who is trapped in a life of sin.  Someone who may not even mind living in a lost, fallen world, will hear you now.  They will feel your whisper, and heed your call.  Maybe a young person who has not made the many mistakes as I have will fall in love with you and prevent a life of unneeded heartache that results from disobedience.  Maybe another who has never understood what it is you offer us will leave a life of lostness to cling to your promises.  Lord, I love you and I want you not to forget us.  It must be difficult for you to see the world as it has become so distorted from your original creation.  I pray that you will strengthen us to remember what You have done for us and stand up for the Truth that is Christ!  Breathe on us anew Lord, and awaken in our hearts a yearning for You.  In your precious, sweet son's name I pray. Amen.

Take the time to study this book...I have truly been convicted by the words of James and I pray that they will change you for God's Glory as well!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:2-27