Saturday, July 25, 2015

Some things are hard to accept!

Sometimes, I find it so difficult to accept the way things are.  I know this world is a tough cruel place, and I'm thankful for the love and mercy I've been freely given by my loving Father, and I'm thankful for the kindness of many people in this world.  However, sometimes things happen that just shock me.  I know that not everyone is kind in this world, but generally, I've come to believe that usually the overall majority of people have some grace and kindness in them.

However, on not one, but two occasions, I've taken embarrassing falls, in front of many people, and not even been asked if I was ok, save one person, despite the fact that on both occasions, there were many people who saw the incidents.  The first, was a long time ago, and the second was just about an hour ago, and neither is easy for me to accept.

First, about 11 years ago, when I was just far enough along in my pregnancy to be very clearly pregnant, I was walking into the Brookshire's grocery store, in Midlothian.  They had this reddish, strip of grooved concrete painted along their entrance concrete, it basically divided the parking lot from the porch area, and had a very slight slope.  I'd walked in many times.  However, on this particular evening, as I entered the store in front of no fewer than 10-20 patrons, and a few carry-out personnel, when I stepped onto that area my foot just slid forward, straight up in front of me, and I landed HARD on my back.  I lay there a moment or two, completely winded, praying I'd not injured my baby.  As I did, I watched people pass by me and look at me as they entered or exited the store, including a few employees.  Not ONE person asked if I was ok, or extended a hand to help me up.  I went into the store, and explained to management what had happened.  I told them I could not expect the patrons to do the right thing, but I would have expected an employee to ask me if I was ok.  They simply apologized, no more, no less.  I still sometimes think that had to be an isolated incident, but I was completely surprised that not one person checked on me as they watched me fall and land on my back.  Honestly, if you'd asked me if that could happen again, I would have said it would not have.  I would have assumed that I must have just entered at a particularly busy time as people were getting off work, and it was a one time event.

Now, fast forward about 11 years.  This evening, as I entered the gas station at Exxon Tiger Mart, in Venus, with a $20 bill in my hand to pay for a little gas, I noticed a lady coming up right behind me.  I looked back and held the door for her since she was so close, and I would have been rude just letting it go in her face.  She thanked me and I turned and headed into the store, realizing too late that I'd stepped onto a bunched up entry way rug.  My foot couldn't break free and I fell forward, HARD.  My face almost hit the floor, and I barely caught myself in time, hurting my leg and arm.  As I tried to push up off the floor, I looked up and just in front of me was a man heading from one end of the store to the grocery area.  He just looked down at me, barely 2 feet from me, and walked on by.  Many other patrons glanced over, but said nothing.  The lady behind me, who I noticed almost tripped onto me as I stepped in, is the ONLY person who asked if I was ok.  I was mortified at being looked at so disdainfully by everyone in the store.  I was embarrassed at falling.  I turned over and pushed myself up, and said that I thought I was.  She and I straightened the rug.  I felt like leaving the store and getting my gas elsewhere, but my foot & leg hurt too bad to feel like leaving, going elsewhere and walking in another store, so I just limped to the register, requested $20 worth of gas, and stood looking at the lady as she asked if I would like a receipt.  Then, I turned and limped back out of the store, terribly embarrassed.

I wish I could think that this was isolated, but it has now happened to me on two, out of two, public falls I've taken.  So many times, no doubt, I do see kindness offered to me, and to others, however, how is it possible with a group of 10 or more people on two separate occasions, that only one person even had the kindness to ask if I was ok?  And that was the one who I'd nearly tripped as I fell, so she must have felt a little bit like I did.  I do not like posting negative things, I love to show how blessed I almost always feel to others, but I am truly surprised by this.  It seems crazy to me that not one person offered me a hand to help me get off the ground.  Still yet, it seems even more shocking that people would not have said, "Are you all right?"

I know this world has changed, but I thought that generally most still have some compassion for others.  It brings me a bit of sadness to think of people who may have not had the ability to get themselves up, and may have had to stay in the floor and ask for help.  What if this was someone with health issues, or someone who had been injured more seriously in the fall, or someone much older and having trouble with balance?  Would they have had to have asked for help?  Would they have lay there embarrassed as people walked on by until they spoke up to let someone know they needed assistance?  I'm so sad to think of how that would make someone feel.

I thank God that He is compassionate.  "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love."  Psalm 103:8

I pray to see a little more compassion in this world.  "Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.  Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice."  Psalm 112:4-5

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