Tuesday, September 27, 2016

If only...

I truly cannot believe how quickly the years have flown.  I cannot sleep tonight.  My step-kids have grown, and gone.  My son was just married, two weeks ago!  My other son will be driving soon.  My daughter is nearly as tall as me.  They all know more than me (or at least to them, they do)!!

I lay in bed longing for just one more story time with my kids around me, all sweet smelling after their baths.  I long for the days when bubbles on the lawn was fun for them.  I miss those sweaty, little hands as I raced to see every animal at the zoo, and they pulled me along!

I love the beautiful people they have grown into.  I am thankful daily that He has blessed me with them.  I know so many say I am supposed to enjoy this more, and I am sure I will.  However, I had no idea it could ever have gone so fast!

If only it was granted in my power,
I’d turn back time, maybe just one hour.
But then, I’d be tempted for a week, or maybe two,
To grab a little more time to spend with you.

I remember when you were first a flutter, then a kick.
I waited impatiently, for each gentle movement, as the clock did tick.
And when the doctor held you up before my eyes,
My heart melted at the sound of your tiny cries.

Each day I was there and watched you grow,
Kissing every bump and scraped elbow.
I guess I really never thought about it then,
How fleeting those moments with you had been.

But time is a thief and it marches on,
Childhood vanished and the teen did dawn.
Sometimes those days were tough, we didn’t always agree.
I yearned to hold on, you pulled to be free.

And secretly, I reminded Him night and day,
Lest He forget how special you are, so I did pray,
Whispered thanks for giving you to me, that He might know,
And continue his protection, never to let you go.

Now I think back on your sweet little face,
Your soft, head of hair, a fun game of chase.
A romp on the lawn, a splash in the pool.
Wishing time didn’t feel so cruel.

The sweet way you spoke, in your gravelly voice,
The way you would stomp to get your choice.
That wonderful time each night all snuggled in bed,
Reading stories and laughing, I hung by a thread.

I knew this day would not come easy for me.
I tried not to blink, I didn’t want to be free.
I celebrate every moment we’ve had,
But oh, I can’t help but feel a little sad.

And yet, I feel happy, but it’s harder than I thought.
I’m proud of you, and thankful for all the joy you’ve brought.
So don’t think me too silly, for all the whimsy and such,
And the things I can’t part with, I don’t mean to keep too much.

I know those old projects, aging paint, cracking glue.
To you the space is needed, and long overdue.
But each of those things in your box has weathered the miles,
Each picture, so precious, awakens memories, my heart smiles.

Today, you read this, you may not understand,
I relinquish the time when you once held my hand.
My prayer that the hard times, haven’t been too hard,
I longed for childhood joys, not with sadness marred.

I love you so much, and though the time did fly,
No greater joy, through my errors, I still did try.
If only I showed you His love and instilled in you, the proof,
That He is the Way, the Life, and the Truth.